Fit For Radio
Welcome to Fit For Radio, the show where the stories are real, the struggles are raw, and the comebacks hit harder than the setbacks.
In every episode, you'll hear from someone who faced something impossible: A loss... a betrayal... a breakdown... a moment so heavy it could've ended everything.
But it didn't.
Because they got back up.
Fit For Radio is about the people life tried to silence but who found a frequency stronger than fear. It's about the rise. The grit. The healing. The "holy-shit-I-can't-believe-you-survived-that" moment.
This isn't just a podcast.
It's a reminder that your scars don't disqualify you, they prepare you.
So if you've ever felt knocked down, counted out, or stuck in the static...
You're in the right place.
Because every comeback deserves airtime.
Hit follow. New Episodes every Tuesday.
Fit For Radio
Run Over by a Produce Truck… The Day He Lost His Leg
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Ridge Deakman’s life changed in an instant.
On this episode of the Fit For Radio podcast, Ridge shares the story of a devastating motorcycle crash with a produce truck that left him alone on a highway bridge, bleeding out and fighting to stay alive. That moment would cost him his leg—but it was only the beginning of a long, grueling road back. Through surgeries, setbacks, and the mental battle that comes with losing a part of yourself, Ridge refused to quit.
Just as he began to rebuild, a second accident threatened to take the only leg he had left. Once again, he was forced to confront everything—pain, fear, and the question of how much more a person can endure.
In this episode, Ridge opens up about what it took to fight back, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. From rock bottom to rebuilding his life, he shares how he found purpose, embraced sobriety, and became the man his family could depend on.
Today, Ridge is a husband, a father, and a man who has found peace after chaos. His story is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is a way forward—and sometimes, the hardest roads lead to the strongest versions of ourselves.
Introduction to Ridge Deakman
SPEAKER_00The fruit truck pulled into the right lane, cut over because he needed to make that right. And he started pulling over. And by the time I looked, he was slamming on his brakes. And yeah, I locked up my brakes, tried to slide, get off the bike, and obviously that didn't happen. And yeah, I got my leg caught between my bike and the metal grate on the back of the truck, and it just yeah, just chopped it off right there. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03It's the Fit for Radio Podcast, and I'm your host, Drew Tiedeman. We are at the Stafford Hills Club, which is a nice little establishment voted the best health and wellness facility in the Portland area, and it's for good reason. When I have guests come in here, the first thing they usually say is, Wow, this place is nice. And that's the same thing that happened today with my guest, which I will introduce here in just a second. But if you get a chance to check out staffordhills.com, it's like a staycation out there at the pool, salt water as well, so you're not going to get a chlorine bath and you can rock your workout, hit up a burger when the sun shines out. And uh there's just so much camaraderie and a family atmosphere here at the Stafford Hills Club. And remember, get in where you fit in because uh family memberships will fill up and you'll end up on a waiting list. The last thing you want when you want to be tanning yourself right there by the pool, Staffordhills.com. And without further ado, I've been excited to sit down with this guy for a while. He's got a story that I've heard bits and pieces of, but I haven't really had a chance to pull the curtain back on the whole thing. But um grew up in a standard issue life like the rest of us, but then an accident changed his life forever. And it's about it's not just about an accident that happens, but it's also about what you do with your circumstances. And I'm so stoked to have you here. Welcome to the show, Ridge
Ridge's Early Life and Athletic Background
SPEAKER_03Deakin. Thanks for having me, man. Yeah, it's great to have you in here. Now, you're born and raised in San Diego, Point Loma. Yeah, exactly. Point Loma, yeah. And I grew up doing the standard kid things, playing sports. Um, now when you were a kid, what kind of sports did you play?
SPEAKER_00All of them. Yeah, but mainly I played baseball and football, um, but mainly baseball. And so your whole life, athletics, are a big part of it. Yeah, huge part. Yeah, I played sports all the way up until high school and then kind of went a different direction.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, you in your notes you said had a great time, ha ha. So did you do some partying as well?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, did some partying in my high school and you know, later teen life, you know, and yeah, just like everybody else, I would imagine. But but yeah, we had some fun.
SPEAKER_03But that was kind of it. It's like if you played your sports, you could still have some fun and the whole deal. Now, after you get out of high school, what are you doing with your time?
SPEAKER_00Um, right out of high school, I think we did a lot of partying, really. And it really didn't have much direction. The baseball thing, I got I got hurt and I was just kind of floating around, kind of doing whatever I wanted to do, trying to figure out what I wanted to do. But, you know, worked odd jobs, did stuff, and uh decided that uh I wanted to fix motorcycles for a living. Okay. Um, and so I started going down that path of, you know, figuring out how to be a mechanic and work for Harley Davidson and do all of these things, and started riding motorcycles and doing all that stuff, and it kind of just went down that road for a while.
SPEAKER_03So, how do you get into being a motorcycle mechanic? Like I get that you liked motorcycles, but is there like a school you have to go to or you just become an apprentice? How do how does that go?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if you want to work like for Harley Davidson, and now I don't know if this is still how it is or if it was like this, but typically most of them you go to uh MMI in Arizona. I think they have one in like Florida or something like that too. Um, but you go to MMI, they have like a Harley Davidson. It's literally like college, you know, five days a week, you know, 7 a.m. to noon. You go in, you work hands-on with all the motorcycles and you learn pretty much everything. Um, and yeah, you get your degree in being a mechanic, and then you can go work for Harley Davidson. Did it work like that? No.
SPEAKER_03Then's the idea, right? That's the idea. Is that you could get there.
SPEAKER_00So do you end up working at other shops or yeah, you can pretty much go if you want to work specifically for Harley Davidson, you have to go to MMI. And like I said, I don't know if that's like they still do it that way. I'm sure if you're somebody, you could just go and do whatever you want to do. But as a rookie, not doing it, you know, not really having any, you know, life in the game or anything. I you kind of just have to go that route. Um, but but yeah, it we did the class. It was, it was in we did it in Arizona and it was in Phoenix, and it was it was brutal. Um, and this was like right after my accident. I mean, like right after we left to uh to go to Arizona to do that.
SPEAKER_03So let's back you up uh a second because you just skipped over a major part of your oh yeah, then this thing, like we're not talking about offender bender, we're talking about so you don't get into fixing motorcycles till after you got hurt, yeah. Okay, so then let's roll that back a second because you have an accident that changes your life and your trajectory, which
The Life-Changing Accident
SPEAKER_03is wild that it goes in this order. Like I my mind is blowing right now because of what happened. So just walk me through what happened to you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so um, I mean, I had been riding motorcycles. We rode dirt bikes and stuff like that forever. Um, I had always wanted a Harley, you know what I mean, wanted to ride, you know, street stuff or whatever. And so we were, you know, fixing stuff. We always like to tinker with things and do stuff. But so I started riding motorcycles. Um bought my first one, and then I was living in Santa Cruz at the time, rode it up there, had it in Santa Cruz. Uh wind in your hair, sunshine, rain, rain in your face. Okay, that was cold. Yeah. There was obviously, you know, stints of sun, but um, it was not what I'm in California. Yeah, it was Northern California, it was kind of like it is up here, but um, but yeah, had it here in Santa Cruz, then I moved back home. I did have a stint in a community college that I went to for about six hours, and that was that there. Um, but road, road, road. Um, and then uh yeah, just I was it was a I was working at a restaurant at the time. It was my one day off of the week. I woke up at 9 a.m., just hopped on the bike, started going over to one of my buddies' houses, and uh yeah, we got in got in the accident. What so what happened? So I was in Pacific Beach, and I was coming over one of the bridges, and like the middle lane is straight only, left lane is left only, right lane is right. Um, in California, you can split lanes, right? So you can go in between cars. Um, there was I was in the middle lane, the car I needed to go right. There was a car and then a kind of like a big produce truck, you know what I mean? Like a kind of like a U-Haul, but a little bit bigger than a U-Haul. They were in the middle. And so I needed to go right. So I started to split lanes to go into the right lane. And uh I had my head kind of turned looking to my right to make sure that there was like no cars there. And when I had done that, the semi or whatever the fruit truck pulled into the right lane, cut over because he needed to make that right. And he started pulling over. And by the time I looked, he was slamming on his brakes, and yeah, I locked up my brakes, tried to slide, get off the bike, and obviously that didn't happen. And yeah, I got my leg caught between my bike and the metal grate on the back of the truck, and it just yeah, just chopped it off right there. Oh my gosh. I got like thrown into the back of the truck. Um, it just kind of like flipped flipped me up, and uh once I I hit my head pretty hard, and I always wore a full face helmet, you know what I mean? Because quality stuff. So I like I was probably knocked out for like a second or two, you know what I mean, and then um woke up or like kind of got up and did the full body check, you know. And of course, right, like it was kind of surreal because I'm in the middle of a bridge, and I'm like, there's no cars driving past me. Like, I was just really confused, you know what I mean? Because I'm sitting there, like, you know, you know, nobody's there. So the guy who hit you, where's where's that? He didn't even feel it. He didn't even know what happened. Somebody had to chase him down like 20 miles down the road, yeah. And was like, hey, you know, you gotta come back. There's an accident. Yeah. And so he didn't even didn't even feel it, just kept driving. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03And so you were the you're all alone there when you're going feeling for your leg. And do you realize it's gone? Are you in shock? What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, initially, I mean, I did a body check. I was just kind of like, okay, I can move my arms, I can move my legs, like I'm good. And of course, you're kind of you know in shock, your adrenaline's kind of going. Yeah. Um, I took my helmet off and I just kind of like threw it to the side, and I went to go stand up, and that's when I I knew. I went to stand up, and as soon as I stood up, I just fell right back to the ground. And I was like, that's probably not great. So your leg is not on, or is it mangled? It's it's mangled. Yeah, it was pretty mangled. Um, I looked down. I pulled, I was wearing pants at the time. So when I looked, I lifted up my one, my right leg was fine. Um, and then I lifted up my left leg, and yeah, it was just dangling there for the most part.
SPEAKER_03There was some stuff gone and so and are you and you are probably in shock, but are what is like your emotion? Are you angry? Are you scared? Are you sad? Are you confused?
SPEAKER_00Like what Yeah, I honestly all of those I felt really calm about it, which was weird, you know what I mean? Like you would think, and I I don't even think I looked at it and like really had much of a feeling. I just knew I needed to get out off of the bridge. And so on the sides of this bridge, they have um like side, like walking sidewalks. So I got up and I
The Aftermath and Emergency Response
SPEAKER_00hopped over to the sidewalk, and you know, it's just like a concrete guardrail. Yeah. And I jumped to go like kind of do a tuck and roll over the uh of over it, and my leg had like gotten kind of caught on the wall and like kind of dragged over, and like immediately I was started feeling, you know, pain and all of those feelings started coming in. Yeah. Like, is it excruciating or is the adrenaline still? Adrenaline, it was honestly just really hot. Like it felt like burning, yeah. And I mean, like, yes, it it hurt, I would imagine, you know what I mean? But I I think I was really focused on the the whole time I was pretty coherent. Um, I I mean, at least I thought that I was pretty coherent. Um, so when I looked at it, realized it, got over the guardrail, um, I just knew that I needed it, was bleeding a lot. And so I I knew that I needed to do something about it. So I was wearing a belt. I took my belt off. I don't know if it was doing much, but I just tourniquet. Yeah, I tried to hold it as tight as I could for the situation that I was in. Did you have a cell phone? Did you make it? Had you made a phone call? Yeah, so I when I the first I called my mom was the very first phone call because I thought it was that was that. I just was losing blood, and I, you know, I'm like, you know, what are the odds that this is gonna happen? And so I called my mom and uh she thought I was joking. She was like, uh, it's probably just broken. And I was like, I think we're a little bit past broken ma, you know. And then so she was like, Well, have you called the ambulance? And I was like, Well, that's gonna be my next call. And I just figured somebody had probably saw it and called, yeah, you know. So called her, um, called my dad, and kind of had the same conversation. So you called both parents before you called an ambulance. Pretty much. Wow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was uh I don't know if it if I don't know what to call that. Um we'll call it brave.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. I just figured if this was it, you know, that would I would rather get the calls in get the calls in before, you know, I called an ambulance. Yeah, fair. Um, so yeah, and I just remember like once I had made the calls, you know, I had I called the ambulance and uh they were like, yeah, they're already on their way, you know, just kind of hang in there, do what you're doing. And um, yeah, I just remember like laying up and like just looking, and it was a beautiful day. And I remember sitting on this bridge, just looking up at the sky, like, man, like my one day off, this is happening. It's gonna happen on a workday, you know? And I just remember being like, well, you know, if this is it, like, you know, so be it, I guess, you know, that was kind of uh, yeah. And then so I just laid there waiting. You had a strange interaction though, right? So what there was something else. So I was laying there, and again, like nobody had really like came. Like, I don't, I like during this, I like I was just like there by myself, this whole stuff, you know what I mean? I'm assuming people kind of saw what was happening and probably were like uh, you know, didn't really feel like going over there. But um, but yeah, I was just laying there. I had my leg, you know, elevated, whatever, just trying to do what I could. And I saw um a lady and a guy jump over the guardrail. And, you know, I'm like, hey, you know, I'm like having a full conversation and like I could almost still see like their faces, like I could almost like recognize them like out of a crowd. And so I'm talking to him, and the guy's like, hey man, you know, you're doing great, like everything's gonna be fine. I get to chill talking about this. Everything's gonna be fine. You just like just keep doing what you're doing. The ambulance is on their way. I'm a doctor, she's a nurse, like I'm everything is gonna be fine. And I was like, Okay, cool. Like, they got we're good. Yeah, we're good. And there they go, jumping over the guardrail. And so I'm like, oh, you know, they're probably like gonna go get something or whatever, you know. And uh I remember like getting tired, like, you know, I started like you know, feeling like I was gonna nod off. Then I just kept being like, don't fall asleep, like, don't fall asleep. And uh I like kind of felt like I had just fallen asleep, but it was kind of like when you fall asleep when you're like falling and you kind of like wake yourself up, yeah, that jolt. Um, and next thing I knew, there was like, you know, a bunch of firefighters and ambulances, and they were putting the tourniquet on it, and they got me on the stretcher, and like then everything kind of came back. Like I was just right back, back to everything. And um, yeah, so I got in uh when we went, they took me into the ambulance and I was talking, I was like really coherent. Like I was talking with the people in the ambulance, and they were like, hey, you know, what do you want to do? And um I was taught I told them and I was like, Yeah, did you guys talk to the doctor and the nurse? Like, have you guys talked to them? They said it was gonna be fine, you know? And the guy was like, What are you talking about, man? And I'm like, the lady, there was a guy and a lady that jumped over the guardrail. He was a doctor, he said that she was a nurse, and uh, they just told me I was gonna be fine. He kind of looked at everything and said everything was gonna be fine. And the guy was like, if there was a doctor and a nurse, like they would have had to like stay there, I think, like legally. They wouldn't just jump the rail. Yeah, they're not just gonna like hop back in their cars and drive away. And I was like, no, man, I'm I'm almost positive that there was people there. And the guy was like, I mean, like, I'll talk to them, you know, go out or whatever. And so, like, I'm in the ambulance, they're trying to kind of get me off. And um, yeah, they when I had got out of the hospital or like in the hospital out of surgery, they had came and they were talking to me, and there was like there was nobody there, man. And so I chalked it up to angels, somebody just coming saying, Hey, you know, you're I know you're in a bad way, like I know you're phasing out, I think, but you know, you've given me goosebumps, dude.
SPEAKER_03Like, because there's that thought that, you know, and I don't know what's real and what's not. Yeah, you know, nobody really does. But you know, if there, if there are angels out there and they're it's the moment to come to you because
The Power of the Mind and Recovery Journey
SPEAKER_03you probably don't even realize it, but you're nodding off, you're bleeding out, you know, like you're you're going if somebody doesn't get there, you're gonna die. Yeah, exactly. And if somebody doesn't keep you awake, yeah, you're gonna die, probably. And so when you think about that, you fell asleep and did the nod-off thing, that would have happened earlier. Oh, yeah. And you would have likely, I mean, I there's just so much to be said about stay awake.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, exactly. And I think that the it's when it's funny because like when you're, you know, and I went to a private school growing up. Um, I later on went to public school, but um, you know, it's not I am not like the most hardcore religious person. Like I definitely believe that there is something, you know what I mean? But it's funny when when you are in a position like that, I don't care what anybody believes in, if you're you know, right on that that edge, everybody prays. You know what I mean? Because it's that's your last Hail Mary. You're like, I mean, what are it's a 50-50 chance, right? Like, yeah, you gotta yeah, whatever. You you're holding on to basically anything that you can. You know what I mean? And yeah, there was nobody there, they didn't have anything, they talked to the police. I mean, every like, you know, there was a whole thing about it.
SPEAKER_03And that's a big point, too, is like their oath or whatever is like we're we were gonna stay around, but we're going to get bagels. Well, exactly.
SPEAKER_00You think they didn't touch me, they didn't do anything for me. They you know what I mean? Like makes sense now. Well, yeah, like I I it's gonna sound weird, but it was almost like the guy like crouched down to like give me pound or something, like he was like, Hey, you're gonna be all right. And yeah, I'm a doctor and a nurse, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then he just like left. It's almost like your body knew what it needed. Yeah. You know, it needed somebody to tell them that it's gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_00Well, and you when you're in that, you know, fight or flight or whatever they, you know, want to call it, um, you know, you hallucinate, there's things that can happen. So, you know, they they were like, Yeah, we've heard it and seen it, but it was like it felt like a very personal interaction, you know.
SPEAKER_03And I uh to defend the idea itself, you know, like because this is what people do is they discount easily. And so if you're like, well, this miraculous thing happened to me, and they're like, Oh, well, your body releases all these chemicals, and that's why that happened. Yeah, okay. Well, you could also just argue that it happens, and then we're using that as the excuse. So uh whatever it was, yeah, I'm glad that it happened. That part happened because that kept you aware and gave you hope.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Because you start to lose hope, yeah, then you're a big it got dark there for a second. And I think that's kind of like the even going forward through it, you know what I mean, is just your mind is a really powerful thing, you know what I mean? And so if you tell yourself to, you know, and you really dig deep, you know, you can keep going and keep doing it.
SPEAKER_03And for you, this really turns into a thing that um the accident is just the start line, really, because everything that you're talking about and the mental battle and everything, you're about to go through a battle uh that nobody really deals with day to day, because you know, you take away a person's leg and it changes everything. I mean, I'm gonna be honest, you showed me a picture of it like when you came out of surgery, and it like blew my body back. Now, I'm not the best with gore and all that stuff, but like it just I mean, we might have to if you allow it, we'll have to put that up when this episode comes out, just so people can see what it is that you endured. And it just is a lot. The Fit for Radio podcast is brought to you in part by Motorsport Hillsboro, where they urge you to ride responsibly, and they've got everything to make your summer pop. And one thing I think you should check out is they have their gas gas electric bikes, and it's not lost on anyone. The fact that gas prices are through the roof. So, how do you beat them? Get yourself an electric bike that are now up to 60% off at Motosport Hillsboro. They bought up the inventory to make sure that the savings come right back to you. I rode one myself and immediately wanted to pack it in the back of my truck and head home. Check them out today, Motosport Hillsboro. There's a reason people come from far and wide to shop at Motosport Hillsboro. So I want to talk about um the aftermath
Accident Aftermath
SPEAKER_03a little bit with you, you know, because you have this accident, you go through this traumatic. Moment. You're basically dealing with the adrenaline of it and everything. And so, you know, the pain that's coming, the realities that are coming, like in the moment there, you're kind of being whisked through the whole thing, right? So when you are in the hospital and you wake up from surgery, just walk me through, like as like a standard, you know, you're a standard dude and you've waken up and from this nightmare. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And where are you at? Well, so I mean, when when I was in the ambulance initially, I was like really coherent. Like I was having full conversations with them. And they were asking me, like, what did I want to do with my leg? You know what I mean? And they knew that it was pretty bad. But I was kind of, they were like, we can either put it together or because we need to tell them we're gonna have to put you under. So we need to tell them what to do. And I was like, you know, can I keep my knee? And they were like, if they amputate it, and I was like, yeah, like if they cut it off, will I have my knee? And they were like, Oh, yeah, for sure. And I go, if I don't cut it off, am I gonna be in surgery for the rest of my life? And the guy was like, Yeah, probably. You know what I mean? Pins, rods, I mean, you name it. And I was like, I had known a lot of people that have gone that route, and you know, it wasn't the same, you know. And I was like, I just told them, you know, tell them like they can cut it off. As long as I can keep my knee, tell them to cut it off. And um, they were like, Okay, sounds good. We'll put you under. And so they went to put me under, put me under. And the people from the ambulance, they were talking to my parents like when this whole thing happened, when we got to the thing, and they're like, he said to cut it off. And my mom was like, Don't listen to them. They were like, He's had a long day. Yeah, he's had a long day. So they did try to like put it back together and it was not, yeah, it wasn't happening. So was it just shredded or yeah? When I looked down at it, I mean the bones were shattered. Um, my foot was, you know, basically just kind of like dangling. Because I my flag and my foot got caught between like the primary primary side of my my motorcycle, and when it hit, I mean, it's like ceramic or you know what I mean? It just was like a like a razor blade, basically. Yeah. And so when it hit, yeah, and then the primary chain and the clutch and all that stuff is spinning right there. So when it hit, it got caught there to a metal grade and it just kind of mangled it up. Um, but yeah, it was it was toast. I mean, I just remember seeing like my pinky toe and stuff kind of just dangling, like, you know, on skin. I was just like, yeah, I
Waking Up In The Hospital
SPEAKER_00you know, when they say like, if when you get hurt, they're always like, don't look at it, you know what I mean? And you looked at it. And I looked at it and it started to hurt a lot more.
SPEAKER_03But but yeah. I don't even know why I'm laughing because I'm cringing so hard. I because you showed me the picture of it. Well, now I'm just like it's a lot.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, anyway, getting when you wake up from that, you know, you have the surgery. I think I was out for like a day, maybe like a full 24 hours. And yeah, you wake up in a hospital room, and I mean, I was by myself, you know, and you wake up, you know, I was on all sorts of medications. So you're getting your bearings, you're trying to lock in and like go, okay, hey, like this happened, you know what I mean? Like, well, okay, I'm still alive, we're good, you know, and you're kind of doing your own body check and you're looking down, and it's like kind of like a movie, honestly. You know, you're looking like, okay, um, I'm good. I got my arms, and you look down here like, uh, well, it's gone. And you yeah, you're just kind of uh like what are we gonna do from here?
SPEAKER_03So do you do you get depressed about this straight away, or are you are you because with me, I I know that initially I would be like, why me? Why, why is this fair? This is unfair.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think for me, and this, you know, some people may say it's not healthy, but I think in these moments, you know, like you really have only one or two ways to like go about this. You know what I mean? Like you either just accept it and just say, like, you know, don't do the whole like why me, the the pity thing or whatever, just go like, yeah, this sucks, but what are you gonna do about it? You know what I mean? And maybe it's not healthy in the long run, you know, mentally, I guess, you know, but yeah, but you have to find a way to find a way, you know what I mean. And that's the tough part. Yeah. So I just kind of looked at it, and I mean, the times that were the hardest, I think, were, you know, when it's just you, you know, when you have your friends and you have your family and you have people that care about you, and you know, you're all kind of in this camaraderie of, you know, doing things together, and you know, you have people behind you, you know what I mean. Like it's it's easier to do things, you know what I mean? But you know, you get home and it's just you, and you're by yourself in your room, and you know, you're learning and having to like figure out how to live a life without a leg, you know, and all the little things, you know, and you're just it it gets really difficult.
SPEAKER_03So did they prep you? I mean, I I would guess they did a little bit, but when you're at home and you're trying to figure out how to say get out of bed or get in the shower, did anyone teach you that? Or is that just like good luck, pal?
SPEAKER_00Pretty much, yeah. They um I was in the hospital for I was in the hospital for five days. That was it. So they did the surgery, and then I was at a one hospital, they transferred me to another hospital, which was brutal. It
Coping With Loss and Mental Health
SPEAKER_00was there was like no room at the inn, basically. And so they put me in like an overflow of an overflow room for like like uh pregnant women. And so, and there was no air conditioner in my room, and the room was like a tuna can, it was it was brutal. Um, and then my mom came and saw it until we got transferred to another thing and then Super Bowl. It was that Super Bowl weekend. So I was in my hospital bed, all my friends were there, they all came over to the watch the Super Bowl in the room, but yeah, basically they they take you out, they get you like a compression fitting to kind of like shrink your leg down because it's obviously really swollen. Because what I saw was a massive end of your leg. Yep, yeah. So they when they cut it off, they basically cut it to your calf muscle, and then they take your calf and kind of like wrap around her. At least that's how my surgeon did it. A little burrito mode. Yeah, exactly. And to give you some cushion, you know what I mean, for eventually when you get your prosthetic leg. Um, but it's like huge and it's all flared at that. Yeah, it's like super flared. Yeah. I mean, it looks like a catfish, honestly, stitches and stuff like that. Um, but they have to compression wrap it to kind of get all that fluid out. That was the worst pain I have ever gone through in my entire life. It was 10 times worse than losing, losing it or any of that. Um, because you're just like, you're just there, right? Yeah, no adrenaline getting it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you don't need can I get an adrenaline dump?
SPEAKER_00You're just raw dogging life, you know. Like, I get to go home. You're like, yeah, just one more stop, you know, and then you go, yeah. And so yeah, that was that was brutal. It was basically just some lady, you know, she was like, This is gonna hurt really, really bad. And me and my dad, and you know, I'm holding his hand, you know, and I'm like, really, is it gonna be that bad? And she takes this thing that's probably eight inches, you know, like a vice type. Yeah, and like takes it and just wraps it, like wraps and wraps it. So it was like super, and yeah, I almost passed out. I I didn't even really even almost pass out during the accident. I mean, obviously, once the blood loss kicked in and stuff, you know, that's one thing. But but yeah, I didn't I almost passed out on that bed right before I walked out of the place or you know, rolled out, popped out. Yeah, yeah. They uh, you know, I'm sure that they offer like you know, your physical therapy and you know, things of that nature. But but yeah, I think you're pretty much just you gotta go and learn. Yeah, you're just on your own.
SPEAKER_03Were you what was your mental state during this time? Because like, you know, your friends are there for the Super Bowl and all of that. And you know, I've learned through this process of doing this show is that a lot of people are there right after a bad thing happens, you know, and it's like, oh, we got you, man, but their life gets on, they gotta go do other things, they can't always be there for you. And then there's a time that kind of runs into darkness, and uh, oh man, it's just me and this leg situation.
Navigating The New Normal
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Where are you at with that? I when it happened, my whole mindset the entire time was like, just stay positive. Like it is what it is. You cannot do anything about it, right? We're here. Yes, this is gonna suck. Yes, this is gonna be really hard. But like, just if you start, you know, to feel that, you know what I mean, and get depressed or you're sad, or the why me or whatever, it's just gonna make it worse. You know what I mean? And now, did I feel that? Yeah, you know, and usually it's when you're, you know, by yourself, you're laying in bed, you know, and you can't sleep because you got phantom pains and you haven't slept for a week and you know, or whatever the scenario is, and you know, you're it yeah, you definitely feel it, you know what I mean? But I I always tell people too, with like, you know, sports and stuff and in just life in general, you know what I mean? Sports and adversity, you know, adversity and whatever and stuff like that, you know, that happens to you. Like, what are you gonna do about it? Taking all of that from playing sports and doing things, you know, and just being able to go, you know, okay, we're gonna be all right, we're alive, like we will figure it out. Let's let's keep going. Yes, it does it suck right now, yes, but but it's gonna get better eventually, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03So which is the way to look at it. The other the adverse to that is pure negativity and that never appalls the male. Yep. Um, I guess walk me through like what you do with your life after that because you know, like you're get you're trying to get better and you're trying to, you know, get your get your bearings again. Yeah. Um, what do you do? Do you spend a large amount of time trying to get back? Is there like because yeah, I don't even know the beginning of it. Like, do you go on disability? Like, does who how do you survive in a world where like you can't really work straight away?
SPEAKER_00So I had, I think when it originally, like I said, I got out five days. I didn't get uh fitted for a prosthetic for like six months. So yeah, I was just basically crutches, yeah, just crutching around. They wanted to give me a wheelchair. I like refused to be in a wheelchair. Um, but but yeah, I just had a wrap on it, you know what I mean? You're cleaning it, making sure it doesn't get infected or whatever. And uh, and yeah, you I'm just just crutching around everywhere. And I'm very, very lucky. I have a solid group of friends that always were there. There was like never a time where like I needed someone to be there that and someone didn't come. Um that's awesome. Like when I even side note, when we were in when I had woken up, the very first thing I said was but where's Jordan? You know what I mean? My best friend, he's my brother. Um, and so my friends were the first ones in the room, you know what I mean? Like
The Journey to Recovery and Prosthetics
SPEAKER_00they didn't, I think my parents were the second ones to come and see me. So you got a good support system. Yeah, I had a good support system. That's crucial, you know what I mean? But but uh, but yeah, so six months go by, they finally get my leg shrunk down. You have to keep going back and getting it. Like, does it always hurt as much as that first time? Every time. At least for me, it did. It sucked, yeah. And again, you're just kind of going in there, raw dogging it, just like, okay, no adrenaline, no anything. Like, you know, it's gonna suck, and you still have to do it. Um but yeah, so then you start getting fitted for your prosthetic. Um, they kind of do the mold, they get it. And when you get your first prosthetic, that is not the prosthetic that you're gonna have, even in six months, depending on how fast your leg shrinks. Because once you get it uh and you start, you know, walking around, then it's gonna shrink. Yeah, it starts to shrink, and you got, you know, it just kind of changes. So um got fitted, and I remember I got it, got my prosthetic. It was like maybe like 10 30 in the morning or something like that. Um, went to go grab it, walked, stretched in. I got my prosthetic leg and my and I have my knee, so I it's probably not like this for every you know amputee story, but I put it on and the guy was like, you know, how does it feel? And I just remember standing up like I normally would stand up and I just walk down the hallway. And the guy was like, Oh, you're good, man. And I was like, and that when you, you know, you go from just crutching around, like, yeah, it is depressing, you know what I mean? And it's hard, you know, and you have to just like you're just in this constant battle in your head, you know what I mean? Always, you know, like fighting the urge to just like give up, you know what I mean, or just and go into the into the your own feelings. Exactly. Yeah, you know, and you're just like you just can't, can't do it, you know what I mean? And it's it's easier to do it to do that, you know.
SPEAKER_03But so when you got that leg, that must have just been like confidence gets boosted. You feel like, okay, my life isn't over, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was great. It was the best feeling probably that I've ever had. I mean, when we go and I got it, I mean, I walked out of the hospital, I hopped in my truck, and I went, my buddy was working at the Techelodi golf course, and I grabbed a 12-pack, went straight to the golf course, and we golfed 18 holes that day. And yeah, I it's awesome. Yeah, and I mean, I was walking and you know, I mean, it was like like nothing had happened. And obviously, you know, you start walking down a
Life After The Prosthetic
SPEAKER_00hill, you're getting used to it. Yeah, but it it kind of when you have your knee, it it's muscle memory, you know what I mean? Like, yes, it you've learned how to balance and do different things, you know, but but it's pretty straightforward to just like walk for the most part, yeah. So someone who doesn't have the knee, it's much more complicated.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're walking with your hip and doing doing it differently, but you still had the same motor skills on that going. Yeah. Um, so uh does once you have your leg, are you able to get back to work? Do you do you go to school? What what do you decide to do next?
SPEAKER_00Um, so yeah, I was out of work. I think I was collecting disability for a while. Um, and then just trying to figure out you know what I wanted to do. And so we I think we had a plan. Um, I think I was working at Home Depot or something like that, doing something like that. And uh, but we had a plan. We wanted to go to MMI to be mechanics. And that was in Arizona. Yeah, it was in Arizona. And when you say we, who's we? Uh just me and Jordan, by you and your buddy. Yeah. Um, and throughout my whole life, me and him have pretty much done everything together, all of the major things in my life, he has been right there. I mean, we went to MMI together, came back, moved to Oregon together, you know, kids are same age, you know, married, same thing, all that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, so you guys go to Arizona and we talked a little bit about um your training um to work on motorcycles. How long are you guys in Arizona for?
SPEAKER_00Um, it was about a year, a year, a little bit maybe over a year. I think I he stayed for one more class and then I kind of just got out of there. I hated Arizona. Just hot. Yeah, super hot. I mean, we were super broke, and you know, you're going to school, working 40 hours a week, you know, just and still just barely getting by, you know, and it was just not a super fun. And again, right, like this was right after I had lost my legs. So I'm still trying to navigate that.
SPEAKER_03Um what's your what's your deal with um, because you you mentioned phantom pain. Yeah. I'm guess I have a friend, a good friend, who when he was a kid, he uh had a firework accident and lost part of his hand, yeah, multiple fingers, and he has phantom pain forever. And because of that, you're also kind of always associated to a pain medicine. Uh I'm guessing that they prescribed you pain meds during this time.
SPEAKER_00A lot of them. Yeah. So we were in pain medication. I didn't, you know, I don't think it really did much for the phantom pains, even though I probably rationalized it before that. Um but yeah, everything was in pain. I mean, you know, and the phantom pains are excruciating because you can't, you know, right after you have it, there's just nothing you can really do. You know what I mean? Like they have medication and stuff that kind of can like nerve nerve stuff. Yeah, but like it
Phantom Pain and Mental Tricks
SPEAKER_00never really like did that for me. Um, but yeah, you're just kind of getting by, you know what I mean? And like even, you know, you I think when you're when you have something like that, you know, like the pain medication, it just kind of like comes with it, you know what I mean? It's part of it. It's part of it, right? And I was never that guy even before the accident, you know what I mean? Like I never really took pain medication, or yeah, that wasn't really my cup of tea, I guess. It just is a forced part of the city. Exactly. Yeah, I was just kind of in it. And then, but when you're in it, you're in it. And you know what I mean? And it wasn't getting better, you know, like when your legs shrinking and your process, I mean, you know, you're there is pain, you know, your other side, your back, your whatever it is. Um, yeah, you're you're taking whatever. And it was just like super easy. But when I moved to Arizona, it was a little bit different, you know what I mean? Because I didn't have like a doctor in Arizona. I didn't have like any of this same channels that I had in California. So um, you know, I was trying to take less and less and less, you know what I mean? But but again, you know, you're still dealing with it, you know, you start taking less, you don't feel great, and you're like, you know, you know, I'm already taking the hard road. I'm you know, you know, this way, I'll just take the path least resistance. You know what I mean? And uh, you know, that that was hard, you know. We're in Arizona too. We got no family out there. Thank God it's close to home. But but yeah, it was just the phantom pains and stuff like that. That was the worst part. But I I ended up learning a trick from like a military guy where if you put a mirror in between your legs and you look at it, your brain sees your other leg, like it's there. And immediately the phantom pain would go away. Like really, yeah. That's wild. Yeah, and they would like you would I would do like the alphabet, like backwards. So I would like look at it in my brain, and it would look like my missing leg is doing, you know, A, B, C, D or whatever. But it was training your brain to, you know, because that's what's happening, is basically your brain is sending a signal down there and saying, It hurts. Yeah, where why am I freaking out right here? I can make a full thing here, but as soon as I get here, there, you know, it's you know, resistance. And but it'll, yeah. I mean, like I can even still to this day, I can wiggle my toes and I can feel it. Literally feels like my toes are wiggling, but obviously I don't have toes.
SPEAKER_03It is amazing how that works. Yeah. You're listening to the Fit for Radio podcast brought to you in part by the Stafford Hills Club. If you haven't been here, voted the best health and wellness facility in the Portland area. And when you get here, you'll see why. Not only is it a premier tennis facility, it is so much more. And I think that's one of the misconceptions about this place is that there is a great pool here, a saltwater pool. You also have amazing workout facilities, free weights, machines, classes, uh, TRX. There's so much to do here. And of course, pickleball, outdoor tennis as well. And then a bunch of new amenities on the way here at Stafford Hills, where it is a family, a community, the type of thing you want to be part of.
The Journey to Oregon: A New Beginning
SPEAKER_03Check them out today at Staffordhills.com. Tell them Drew sent you for half off your initiation. So you kind of finish up your time in Arizona. You hate the place, you decide you're gonna move home back to San Diego. When you get there, uh you're doing kind of like um different jobs to make ends meet. What what are you doing there?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just doing odd jobs. I didn't get a job at Harley when I moved back to San Diego immediately. I think it was, you know, working, doing some oil changes for a guy that I knew and stuff like that. But um looking actively to find uh, you know, your entry-level tech job. Um, and uh that's how I mean I found one in Salem. And so in uh here in Oregon, obviously. But uh my had friends that lived here in Portland. I had never personally been to Oregon my entire life. So I borrowed my mom's car, got better gas mileage than my truck, took it up, went, hung out for a week, and I just loved it. I just thought it was great, you know what I mean? And so I did an interview at the Salem Harley Davidson then, I don't know what it's called now. Um, but uh, but did my interview, got the entry-level job. The guy was, you know, they were like, When can you be up? And pretty much we were just like, Well, we'll find a place to live and then we'll we'll come up. Um and uh yeah, so went back home and found a place to live in silver. In Oregon, had never been there in my entire life. All we knew was that it was a highway away from the dealership and the rent was way cheaper than it was in San Diego.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, especially at that time. Um, and going from San Diego to there is a bit of a, I wouldn't call it a culture shock. It's definitely a different look outside. Oh, yeah. 100%. That's for sure. And if you're not already dealing with like the blues, you're like, oh, let's move to Oregon where people need a sunshine lamp just to hold their image together. But you get up there, you get to Silverton, and you're working there, but you're still riding motorcycles, right?
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. So still, when we were living in Silverton, I still rode. I worked there. You know what I mean? You test ride bikes. You're in the culture. Yeah, you're in it. Yeah. Rain, sleep, snow, didn't matter. You're always doing stuff. And then I had like my second pretty big run-in, pretty big accident, I guess. So you get on another motorcycle accident. Yeah. What happened? I was just going down, I was on a test ride. I was literally at work. It was a summer, beautiful day. Again, you know what I mean? It always happens on great days. Um, but I was on a test ride and I was going down a borderland road, and a lady just blew straight through a saw a stop sign. Came pulling in. Um, and I was like kind of going north, but she wanted to go south. And so she pulled across. And as soon as she saw me, she stopped. And so, you know, of course, I'm on a customer's bike and I'm like, you know, doing 35, 40, you know, looking at this car right in front of me. And I was just like, hey, here we go. And boom. Just yeah, boom, hit it, got thrown over. Um, same thing. I wasn't really even like where, I mean, I think, you know, I wasn't really wearing like a bunch of, I mean, it was a little quick test ride. Yeah, you know, and you're so you didn't have
Life After The Second Accident: Challenges and Resilience
SPEAKER_00all the leathers and everything on. Yeah, you just, I mean, uh, you know, you're doing them 10 times a day or whatever. You just kind of like, you know, get on your helmet, go. And uh, so yeah, I hit there. The bike was just hammered. Um, and when I hit, I landed like I was coming in face first. And of course I had like a full face helmet on. Um, landed on my hands and just got wadded up. Did you break your arm? Um, I fractured my elbows and I messed up my shoulder pretty good. Um, but when it when I hit, it like grenaded my prosthetic leg. Um, I mean, like it like it just exploded it for the most part. Yeah. I could still like walk on it, but it would cracked and sh. Yeah, like all the parts were hammered. The foot had the like actual foot portion of it was broken. And I had a a hole, like the size of a mini small little, yeah, like one of those cutie oranges or something, you know, and I just had like a hole in the only foot that I had. Wait, in your actual foot? Yeah, the real ones. Oh and uh I was sitting on in Portland Road down there. I mean, it's a busy road, and I'm just like sitting in the middle of the street and I'm looking at my only foot, like just shaking my head, and I'm just like, what am I doing? And like, you know, you have that moment where you're just like, really? You know, like is this really what we're doing now? And this lady gets out of the car and she was just like, just yelling at me, you were going too fast, you know, and I was just like, I don't even know. But she ran a stop sign. Exactly. And so she immediately pushed the blame. Yeah, pretty much. And so I just kind of was like, you know, like hobbling over to the side of the road again, you know, trying to get out of the traffic and just waiting for another ambulance. Can I just point out that the guy's missing a leg?
SPEAKER_03His other foot has a massive hole, and you come up to lecture, yeah, pretty much. Leave it to the investigators.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I've I just remember being very, very, very angry with this lady. I was like, just, you know, I'm gonna go sit over here, take a breather. Um, they don't ever give you water when you're like in a major accident like that. Like that should be part of it. Yeah, well, and like I think it's because you can like aspirate, I think potentially why, but I knew that like the last my first accident, that was like, I mean, I was so thirsty. I just remember being so thirsty for water. And this last one, the guy was like, Does anybody have a bottle of water?
Navigating Relationships: Love and Support
SPEAKER_00Does anybody have water? I'm dying of thirst. Yeah, did they have water? They did, yeah. So got my bottle of water in. Um, but but yeah, after that, we were just, you know, went again back in the hospital. And I didn't lose anything, but I did, you know, my I didn't have a prosthetic leg. Um, my only foot that I did have, I couldn't put any weight on or do anything, you know what I mean? So now you've got to sit in a wheelchair. Yeah. So now you're again, you're in bed, you know, you're you can't do anything, you know, you're locked, you can't move, you know what I mean? And like even like simple tasks. You gotta wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Like, what do you even do? You know, and same thing with like navigating, having, you know, you're like, okay, what do I do in a shower? Like, you know, do I have to have a chair? Like, how do I get in and get out? And, you know, just like the littlest, tiniest things, you know, even like remembering that you don't have a leg because early on, your your brain doesn't even sometimes register that. So it's so used to you having yeah. So, you know, I mean, I I've had it happen multiple times where you wake up in the middle of the night and you get up to go do something, and I didn't even put a leg on, just stand up and fall. It's like the littlest, tiniest things that are the hardest. You know, the accident stuff, that part was easy compared to life after, you know, trying to figure out what and how to do things.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. It's and it just probably felt like it just never ended, like the the different obstacles that you're having to overcome. Now, I know in my life that if I had been in a major motorcycle accident, um, there would be some pushback from loved ones about my decisions. Now, I will say this first. I am a big supporter of motorcycles and with uh riding safely and with the proper precautions and accidents can happen across anything that we do. Um, you can be in the safest vehicle, you could be in a Volvo and get piled up. So, like it's not a knock on the motorcycle itself, but I do know that if I was in a major accident and lost my leg, my own mother would be like, So what are you thinking, dude? Uh, about going back onto one. What was there pushback? I I'm guessing there was the second time. Yeah. But how how do the people around you because you're not married yet, so a wife might just say, like, nah, but you're still a free spirit here, a free soul. At least for the time being. Yes, in this moment. So what were the people around you saying at this time?
SPEAKER_00I think
Career Changes and New Directions
SPEAKER_00I think my I I think because of my mentality with everything and the way that, you know, you were just kind of I kind of just did what needed to be done. I was kind of like in a positive, you know, for the most part. Any of the battles that I fought with myself were always like on my own time, you know what I mean? So you weren't telling anything. Yeah, it wasn't like, yeah. I mean, I'm sure me and my buddies have had some, you know, late night convos with a few sodas in, you know, and yeah, you know, you things come out that you, you know, just need to get out. Um, but I think, you know, mainly, I mean, it was more of conquering getting back on the horse kind of a thing for me. You know, I didn't want it to like loom over my life and didn't want it to you wanted to be in control of the narrative. Yeah, exactly. And mainly just because like, you know, bad stuff happens everywhere. It doesn't matter. Like it, yes, it happened to me on a on a motorcycle, but like, you know, it could happen to anybody on anything, like you were saying, you know what I mean? So I think for me, yes, there was pushback. You know, my mom was like, you know, you're an idiot. But at the same time, I mean, you know, I was kind of just like, I mean, I gotta do it. You know, I gotta do it to say that I did it, you know, just to keep going, you know. And if it happens, it happens. But, you know, I mean, this is what I went to school for. This is my life, like, you know, it is what it is.
SPEAKER_03And well, even if you're a cat, you're running out of lives at this point. So, you know, and I'm I'm guessing that once, you know, you've lost a leg and then you've injured your other leg. And I'm I'm guessing that gives you a little bit of perspective on that you're you're kind of riding a fragile line.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. 100%. Um after the second one, I mean, we still did test rides and things like that, and we still rode, but all of our a lot of our riding was on back roads, and you know, we like at least I we were trying to be a bit more conscious about you know the situation and you know, just trying to be like as safe as I could possibly be, which was probably not super safe. Yeah, but yeah, and I I actually didn't work, I mean, I worked at Harley for a year or so, but you know, when we moved here, um the pay wasn't great, from at least from San Diego to Cal from here, you know. Yeah. Um, and so I I was trying to find a new job, and I was just like, okay, you know, like I'll go do something else. And you know, and like this is fun. I make some money. Yeah, like I want to make some money. Um, we were just so poor. Um, and I was just like, yeah, this is just so brutal, you know. And but we uh so I ended up leaving Harley and then I started doing cable and internet. Um again, worst job probably I've ever had. Um again, I put myself in a situation where you know I'm climbing telephone poles on the 22 in the middle of winter when it's windy and rain. And I just like, what am I doing? Like, why impressive though that
Overcoming Addiction: A Personal Transformation
SPEAKER_00you're able to do it? Well, exactly. And I think for me, the a big thing with my amputation was still doing all of the stuff that I did before, relearning how to do it all, but not not doing it because it's like, oh, you know, I can't go skateboard or with my buddies or whatever because I don't have a leg anymore, or you know, I can't go golf or I can't do this. Like, you know, you can, and you can still do it. You're gonna golf today. Yeah, I'm going to golf today. But but you have to learn how to do it, you know what I mean? But yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I think that's such a big part of it is to not, you know, you did a good job of not letting it make you the victim, you know, where you could easily make, well, I don't do these things because this happened where this lady ran a stop sign. It doesn't, um, it doesn't serve you, and it really is impressive um that you're able to do those things. Because when I first met you, actually were the first time I saw you, because I didn't even like meet you. You were down the street and you were in pants. I had no idea you had a prosthetic leg. Yeah. And then you'd be out like doing stuff, and just I mean, it wasn't until I saw you in a pair of shorts that I was like, huh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Most people don't ever know, like, unless I'm obviously wearing shorts. Um, but you know, you get you learn. You're, I mean, you're very people are resilient. I mean, you would be blown away the stuff that you can do if you just like let yourself do it, you know.
SPEAKER_03And you do you do a good job of that. You you change careers. Um, at some point, I guess I'm confused where in the timeline um your wife Mariah comes into the story.
SPEAKER_00Um, so I we had been in Oregon for about a year, or maybe like a year and a half or a couple years or something like that. And um, I hadn't I hadn't talked to her in like a lifetime. When we were like 16 or so, I was, you know, trying to date her. And I mean did she go to your high school? No, she went to yeah, I went to Port Loma High School and she went to High Tech High, which was like just right down the road. Okay, so St. Mary. Yeah, and her whole family, I was really close friends with her cousins. Um, I had known them forever, so I kind of knew who she was. Um, but yeah, I tried, I tried to talk to her and date her for a long time when I was young, but I was also just a knucklehead. So you had her on your in a perfect world list. Yeah, in a perfect world list, yeah. She was there. Um, and so yeah, it was just kind of like life life, and you know, we had kind of lost touch, and then um we were in Oregon, and I just kind of like was sitting on the couch, and I got like a Snapchat, and this was back when that was probably even a thing. I mean snapping. Yeah, a snap, and it was her, and she's like, You changed your phone number, and I was just like, this is it. Like, we're all right, like we got another shot, you know. And and so yeah, I was just like, I'm not gonna mess this one up. And yeah, we just
Building a Family: Marriage and Parenthood
SPEAKER_00talked and talked and talked, and next thing you know, she was moving up to Oregon, and yeah, the rest was history.
SPEAKER_03So I'm gonna ask a very shallow question because a lot of girls are shallow. Never an issue with the leg. She no, she just it was just uh fine from the beginning for her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think she probably had a lot of questions about it and stuff like that, but um, but yeah, I think if you had the right outlook, yeah, and I think, yeah, I it was always been kind of a you know, chicks dig scars type of a deal. You know what I mean? So yeah, um, yeah, no, no problems with it, you know, very understanding of it and you know, was really great about all of it, you know. That's awesome. Yeah, so it was great, man. Best thing uh that ever happened to me for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you guys, you reconnect and eventually she moves to Oregon. How do you get her to do that? Um, you know, I'm just that kind of guy. Yeah, you just sending poetry.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just write snap flowers and poetry, yeah. Yeah, um, just as many filters on your snake.
SPEAKER_03He's like, I had a cat head and whatever.
SPEAKER_00Um, it just kind of happened. I mean, she had been in San Diego her whole life, you know what I mean? Um, she was doing real estate, and there was a job up here, and I was up here and I wasn't going anywhere. I mean, I wasn't gonna move back to San Diego. Um, and I was just kind of like, you know, let's try it. Like, you know, worst case scenario, we leave. You know what I mean? Like, and I liked to move. I liked to go different places and do stuff, and I was like, it'll be cool, you know. And she was coming up a lot. I mean, we were long distance for years before she even moved up. That makes sense. And I mean, it was like an every month thing, you know what I mean? I think that the longest we ever went was like a couple months, maybe like three at the moment.
SPEAKER_03Which it is tough. And it also it's it's such a stress test on a relationship because that stuff can fall apart so quick, just based on I don't want to talk on the phone or I don't want to deal with this or that. And and it eventually it just fizzles out, or somebody else comes into the picture, swoops them away. Um, but you were able to navigate those waters and talk her into moving up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, talked her into it. Um, it it was not easy, like in general, and obviously, you know, she loves San Diego, you know, rightfully so. It was beautiful down there. Um, but yeah, I think it was more of just like, yeah, like let's try it, you know what I mean? And it was kind of, you know, she had, like I said, been coming up a lot. We were doing a bunch of stuff. I was taking her to the coast and then, and like, you know, we had like a life up here as well, you know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, and yeah, she moved up and did you guys um, because you live close to where I live, did you immediately like did you guys move into an apartment together?
SPEAKER_00Did you um we when she moved up originally, we lived in Silverton and she was like working in like Hillsborough, like really that's far. That is a ride. It was a mission. Um, and you know, San Diego girl and her little white Mercedes, never driven in that type of weather, you know, an Oregon winter. Um, and she was driving, you know, like hour plus to get to work. Each way, each way, yeah. And, you know, waking up at the crack of dawn and you know, going to work. And mind you, at the time my job was like six minutes from our house that we were living in in Silverton. And uh she it got it got old pretty quick. Yeah, you know, I could see that. And we had been together for a while, and so we were like, okay, you know, at this time it was still semi-reasonable to buy a house. Um, and we were in a great position to where we could we could do that. Um, and then uh yeah, we ended up getting our our house over by you guys, and yeah, the we moved. Now I do the driving and she works at from home.
SPEAKER_03So um, it's it's funny because um, like I didn't know you guys, like so you moved on to my street. Exactly. And um, like when you first moved there, my first memory of you guys is you bought this dirty old RV and parked it in the street. Yeah. It's a street with no sidewalks. Yeah, exactly. So like it's there, and I'm just like, oh my god, that thing's never going to move. Yeah. And um, you eventually moved it into the driveway, which it's still there. It's still there. Yeah. At least there's a fence over by it. It looks a lot better in the driveway. Yeah, exactly. I would be like, what happened? Something happened if it wasn't there now. Exactly. But I didn't talk to you forever, which is a sad deal because once we did hang out, I was like, oh my God, this guy is pretty chill. Yeah. Um, but you guys, you end up getting married. Uh, did you get married once you lived there?
SPEAKER_00Um, yes. Yeah. We were we were living um in at our house in Lake O and we were kind of doing our thing, and we ended up getting, I mean, we I proposed to her in Ben. Um, and she was pregnant with our son at the time. Um, and so we waited to do the wedding after, you know, he was a little bit older, you know. Um, but but yeah, we ended up getting married in in San Diego. Um, but it was all when we were in in Lego.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and you end up having a a great little boy. He's four here now. Four. Yep. Wiley, he's a great kid. Uh he's uh he's the life of our street. Yeah. Um but you've you've also made some other changes uh to your life uh recently. Now, you we mentioned a little bit about growing up and partying, and I think with a lot of people who grew up kind of like in the same time that we did, you know, alcohol is like a is just a part of the whole your story arc. Yep. Um, you were on those pain medicine. We didn't really even get into it, but you basically took yourself off of those at some point and just kind of cold turkeyed that. Yeah, pretty much, man. I mean, I would just rarely happen.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I I have I think I mean I was wean it down, or what did you do? Yeah, I I think I tried to wean it down. And I think for me, it's me. I'm like a kind of like you just gotta jump off the edge, kind of a guy, you know what I mean? Because if I have like something to kind of like keep myself in, some like half in, half out, then I'll stay in, you know. But I mean, I was taking pain medication for 10 years, yeah what I mean, and a lot of them, you know, it was a long ride, and I just knew it wasn't sustainable, you know what I mean? And I just found myself like doing things where I'm like, you know, planning my life around stuff, you know, and you're like, oh, you know, well, I can't go do this because I have a doctor's deployment. Yeah, I've got a script refill and I won't be able to have my stuff. And yeah, and I'm just like, what? I'm like, what am I doing? You know what I mean? And you know, it was you find yourself where you you're you know, you go to your doctor and all of a sudden you need to come in for you know drug tests and pill counts, and like, and I'm like, this is like this is not it makes you feel weird. It makes you feel weird, yeah. And so yeah, I pretty much was just like, you know, this is the last script, and that was that, and just kind of went down that road. And yeah, I think you know, it's really easy nowadays. There's a lot of things that you can use for a crutch, you know, I mean, and um, we partied a lot growing up and we did a lot of stuff, so there was always something, you know what I mean, that you could do. Um, but yeah, it was just kind of what do you do, man? You just gotta get off the horse sometimes. It's true.
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Finding a Way Through
SPEAKER_03at Motosport Hillsborough. You know, there's something to be said for that too. It's like when somebody has an active prescription and that it just will be filled forever if they want it. Yeah, it's different than the person who ran out, you know, and they're and now that they find themselves in a different kind of panic because they didn't wean it down or or do whatever. Cause I really think, and and this goes for anyone who's actively dealing with this stuff. I had a lot of friends, I've lost a lot of friends to these types of things. And I've also watched the successes and the failures of getting off of it, and the wean down is the way. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. While they Still have it. I know you're just a not you, but like the person, the addict in their mind is like, well, I'll deal with it at the end. Exactly. That's a bad idea. Yeah. 100%. Walk down the ramp, don't jump off the cliff. Yeah. And for sure. That that type of stuff makes it easier for people. I think we found a lot of people who have gone to these other products, these gas station products, that they find out they're more, they're more addicted to that than they are the script. So I think it's impressive that you're able to now sit here and not be associated to it to where it controls your life. Yeah, exactly. 100%. You know, because when uh I was talking to you about something, I forget what what it was, but I was like, you were hurt or something was going on. And I was like, well, you know, would you think about taking pain medication? You're like, no. Yeah. You know, just uh not doing it. Because you've you've seen what you have to go through to get back from it, and that's and that's the key. Yeah. And from keeping you from having to do it again. But, you know, recently you've made another life change, one that's um gonna keep you healthy and happy long term and get to see your son Wiley grow up
The Journey To Sobriety
SPEAKER_03and uh probably keep your wife happy too, is um you gave up alcohol entirely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, quit drinking, man. It's almost uh been, I mean, it's seven or eight months or something like that. And that's a big deal. I mean eight months after you know having a career of drinking.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, pretty much. Because that's a tough thing to do. You know, most of us have always had it like somewhat in our lives, one way or another. And, you know, the younger generation is not drinking. Yeah. So like there is where there's a will, there's a way, but it's kind of like a behavior where you're used to it. You know, like you get done from work, this time happens. I then I have my drink, which is my reward for all the hard work that I've done, and all of that. So, but you you treated this a lot like you did the pharmaceuticals, where you gave yourself like an end date, which I'm a little disappointed because uh not because you don't drink, I'm very, very proud of you that you don't drink, but um in like your final day, you just like went hard and then like fell. You were supposed to come over to our house for uh for like barbecue. Yeah, you just passed out and that was the end. That was it. And he never never drank again, which I am proud of you because you know that situation itself probably screams that maybe we should stop. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm going all in to work. Actually, your friend uh answered the phone. He's like, hello. I'm like, yeah, where's Ridge? Is that he's uh sleeping I'm like, it's 2 30 in the afternoon. Um but you got the job done and you finished strong and then you just straight up cut it out. Yeah. Now you you were able to get off of the other stuff. Where did you deal with any physical ailment or anything with this?
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, it was honestly a lot more brutal. And I like I always I like to tell, I mean, I tell people this, you know, you don't have to like be hammering a bottle of whiskey a day or you know, drinking all day long, you know, having shots and stuff to like know that you potentially have like you're drinking for the wrong reasons, you know what I mean? And it's one thing to like have some drinks and fun. Like, I wish I could do that, you know what I mean? And like for years and years and years, yes, you know, you I have you know what I mean. It wasn't like I'm waking up drinking every day and drunk all the time, morning, and yeah, like belligerent all of the time. Um, but I just found myself, and I think it was probably like just a collective amount of a lot of things, right? You know, you know, everybody, you know, you well, your you know, mental stuff, your years of you know, suppressing trauma or whatever that they want to tell you, you know what I mean? But it's really easy to use alcohol as a crutch, you know what I mean? And same thing like you were saying, right? It's just another thing. You get home from work, you have some beers, right? It's Saturday, 12 o'clock, you're mowing the lawn, you have some drinks, you know what I mean? Um but I I just found myself, you know, doing it a lot for the wrong reasons, mainly, you know what I mean? And I just, you know, I just didn't want my kid or my wife. I just didn't want to be that guy, you know what I mean? It was a I just knew that it was a bad look. Um I wasn't very happy, you know what I mean? Like it wasn't making anything better doing it, it wasn't helping me, it wasn't doing any of that. And I just knew if I just kept doing it, I mean, it was a slippery slope at that point.
SPEAKER_03It's just gonna keep becoming more of an issue. And you know, looking at you though, like your complexion looks good, you're you don't you're not like flushed. There's like you you look healthy. For sure. And I'm very proud of you. And I um it's an inspiration to me and to others that you don't have to have a substance to necessarily have a good time or to be able to function. And you know, like we still hang out in the street and our kids run around and people aren't like, who's the square? Yeah, exactly. And I think um, well, I know this that I have multiple friends, my friends, uh, a lot of them partied hard. Yeah. And a lot of them, they either died or they had to quit. Exactly. You know, and so sadly, a lot of them died from the pharmaceutical world, but then the alcohol problems, yeah, they had to quit too in order to save their marriages, their careers, their relationship with their kids. But I have one buddy who's like, my biggest problem was I was known as the partier. Yeah. So that was my identity. So now I'm showing up and I don't know who I am. Like, and I don't know what to say or what to do because I always had this loop social lubricant, yeah, and everyone was like, I'm the party boy without that title. Yeah. And how do I go back from that? Fast forward, it's been years, and no one thinks about him like that. Exactly. Because you write your own story and it's a what have you done for me or to me lately. And you can change that narrative. And I think you're doing a very good job of that. You've got a good track record going. And I always say, like, you know, some people they need to take a break, some people need to quit forever, and you don't really know until you're down the road. But for now, you look uh you look like you're handling it well and that you're you're happy and healthy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, having a good time, man. But yeah, that even like what you were saying, like figuring out who you are, you know, without anything, it's an eye-opening experience. It's a uh it's a very like, you know, what do you do with your hands type of a deal, you know? But it's gonna be nice because uh you're not waking up hung over and all of that stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, 100%. I feel a lot better just in general. Like my mental, I mean, just you know, when you have kids, it's there's not necessarily
Finding a New Identity in Sobriety
SPEAKER_00a manual to tell you like how to do it, you know, and you get married and you're working a job or you're just life is hard, man. Life is hard. You're it just is what it is, you know what I mean? And so, you know, you you try to find the little joys of whatever, whether, you know, that's having some beers, going golfing, doing whatever. Um, but uh, but yeah, I for me, it was just kind of like I I didn't know what how else to live. I didn't know what else to do. So I just kept doing it. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm sure they miss you down at the Platte Panther where I mean, because you were very good at like getting to a car would pull up and I'm like, what who is this stranger? Just some DoorDash out there with a six-pack of cold drinks. 100%. You were very good at it. I mean, and and the mini mart is a block and a half away, but still very impressive. Yeah, they love me down there. That you could do that. But uh, like I said, I I'm gonna continue to uh use that as motivation to for myself, and I think others did as well, that you don't necessarily have to go cold turkey, especially if you don't have an issue. But exactly, but you could also just explore how many you're having, how often you're having that many, and and most of us could turn the dial back a little bit. I'm just I'm just stoked that uh that you decided to make the decision before somebody else made it for you.
SPEAKER_00Well, exactly. Yeah. And I have a bunch of friends that are sober, you know what I mean. I didn't do it alone. Again, great, like having us of people behind you. Yeah, that it can be done. That can be done, you know what I mean? Like, and yeah, I mean, it sucked. Like there's no easy way about it. It all sucked. Getting off of everything sucked. I mean, it wasn't fun, you know what I mean. If it was easy to do, everybody wouldn't do it. Yeah, you know what I mean. Um, but but yeah, it was it was it was tough, man. Navigating life, just you know, if then when things get hard or whatever, like you know, you start feeling a certain way, you don't have anything, you're just like, just what do I do now? What do I do now? You know what I mean? But so much to it.
SPEAKER_03Staying busy and doing things like, you know, planning to go golfing. Yeah, that's hours worth of like the mental, your your mind's in a different place while you're golfing, especially if it's going bad. Um, you can really you got plenty to think about. Yeah, exactly. I just really think that's so much of it because boredom is a dangerous thing. And so it's nice to have a family and to have a
Looking Ahead
SPEAKER_03a kid and and yeah, your son Wiley does not give you much time for boredom. No, uh he's on the move. Um, but this is this is good stuff. Now, what do you got? What are you planning next? You know, I mean, you're you're doing, you're working, you're a family guide. Do you now that you don't have the alcohol and stuff like slowing down your day to day? Are you feeling motivated to you know?
SPEAKER_00I don't know yet, man. I'm taking everything baby steps, you know what I mean? I would like to work out, period. I I have always hated working out. It's like literally been the last thing I've ever wanted to do. But, you know, I a lot of times in my life, I just kind of like have to tell myself to do it. And it takes a minute for me to tell myself, like, you know, just get up and do it. But I would like to start working, you know, I feel a lot healthier, but I would like to work on my health and longevity. Uh I'm really starting to feel it, you know what I mean, in general with my leg and every job I've ever had has been semi-manual labor for the most part. Yeah. Um, and so yeah, I'm stuck I'm really starting to feel, and I just don't want, you know, you have a kid, you know, all the things your dad did with you growing up or whatever. You know, I I want him involved. Yeah, I want him to be able to have all that and you know, not be like, well, my yeah, like my dad didn't go because, you know, whatever the situation may be.
SPEAKER_03Well, one thing that I can say for sure is you've done tougher things. Yo, exactly. You know, and it's really, and working out is one of those things where the hardest part is showing up. Exactly. Um, but I do, you know, and we'll have to get you over here to Stafford Hills and you can test out the facilities and we could do a little workout together. And then I also I have my COVID gym across the street from you, and uh, it'd be a motivation for me to get the girls' stuff cleaned up in there. Maybe we'll we'll do a little weekend warrior uh behavior as well. Yeah. But thank you so much for coming in, spending your time. I know uh you work hard, so we we work this in on your time off, and that's not lost on me. So uh thank you so much, Ridge Deakin. All right, appreciate it for sitting down. Thanks for having me. You got it, brother. We are at the Stafford Hills Club, and we are always here. We're work, meets, play, saltwater pool, elite tennis facility, but don't get it twisted. It's so much more than that. Uh, sign up today at staffordhills.com. Tell them Drew sent you, you get half off your initiation.